Quisiera ser un pez…
para perderme en la luz de tu mirada
y despertarte con besos cada manana
ser siempre tu almohada, descansa en mi.
Un pez…
para ahogarme en el mar de tu dulzura
para colmarte de amor y de ternura
borrar toda amargura, amándote siempre…
Yesterday, I did not see her at all, and today, Sunday I did not know if I would. I had a rehearsal to go to which was supposed to take all day, but it didn’t. So… as you might imagine, I found it difficult not to contact her. My fingers held the phone tightly as I debated whether or not to call… so I didn’t, I texted instead.
Today, Friday the 9th, started out as any other day… a lone bike ride at sunrise, to-do lists, phone calls, and prioritizing what was left of the week – about 8 hours. I thought about the day before and the pleasant conversation with her. From now on I’ll just refer to her as “her” because she is the only one this story could ever be about.
Anyway, sometime mid-morning I get a phone call and I knew before answering that it was her. I had programmed her phone number into my phone and there it was… her name in the caller ID. I later figured out that seeing her name light up my phone has some inexplicable tie to my face because a smile immediately takes hold of me without so much as a warning… just like Pavlov’s dog I guess. “Hello” I say and immediately I hear the sound of a celestial symphony filling my head, like if I was instantly transported to a place with no space nor time, just that sound. I try to regain my sense of the present and somewhat succeed enough to hear her say something about getting together this afternoon again. She states that our conversation the previous day had been cut off (because I had to go to an appointment) and that we should continue our conversation.
My brain immediately kicked in and thought “no, it’s too soon, don’t do it!” However, the words that came out of my mouth were actually the opposite. We agreed to meet again that afternoon after work.
I was a little late getting there and I called to let her know. She was already there, waiting. When I walked in it was like those parts of a movie where they play it in slow motion. I realized there were other people there but everything around me seemed out of focus. As I approached where she was it seemed like every step I took was an eternity, my heartbeat in rhythm with each step until I finally reached where she was. She had been looking at me walk in but as I got close, she looked away and when I was right there beside her I leaned on the back of her chair and whispered in her ear… “did you wear that dress just for me?” I have no idea where that comment came from. It just came out of my mouth like some line from a movie. The fact that I had whispered it to her ear made me feel like it was a movie – nice! Smooth move Casanova!
Anyway, I sat down next to her. The rest of the people there remained incredibly out of focus. As far as I could tell there was no one else there. A surreal moment in time. Reality quickly cut through however as a sound pierced my dream state, “what would you like to drink?” I gazed back at the waitress like if she had a third eye growing out of her forehead… “drink? what drink?” I thought to myself, “can’t you see I’m busy here?” Of course I didn’t say that but that is what I was thinking. So I sent the waitress away and continued to focus on talking with “her.” I can’t remember exactly what we talked about but I know it was half flirtatious and half reality. She is very real that way.
After about two hours, although to me it seemed like only minutes we decided to have coffee, actually she decided so we went close by for Cuban coffee. We stood outside by the service window and just kept talking. I was in heaven. She must have been enjoying my company because we laughed and joked and it just felt so right. At some point during the night I tried to hold her hand but that didn’t work out. I did get a finger though… hey getting to hold a finger even briefly was an achievement! I’ll take it!
Somewhere between the first place and the coffee place she had mentioned that she was going to her mom’s house for dinner. Of course, I did not object but remained relentless in my pursuit to squeeze out a few more minutes of enjoying her company. Maybe it was the brief moment of holding her finger that broke down her defenses or my witty, charming disposition but when I asked if she wanted to get something to eat she called her mom to tell her she would not be stopping by… I swear there was a lunar eclipse and all the planets aligned at that very moment… no kidding! There was an earthquake in Miami and a strong, brilliant flash of light streaked across the sky and I saw the heavens smile at me and give me a wink! OMG! If there was a price to pay for this I must have paid it or they were going to charge me later big time but I could not care less… We proceeded to stop number three of the “coffee” tour…
We arrived at the restaurant and had to wait a while for a table. Of course I relished every second of the wait. She looked so beautiful in that dress! It will forever live in my memory as one of the great wonders of God’s creation. When at last we got to the table we talked some more and ordered. She had the “Tamal en Casuela” and I had something similar. Anyway, I don’t know how I didn’t think of this earlier, but to be honest I really wasn’t trying to hold her hand or anything but when the food came I asked her to pray with me. It wasn’t until after we prayed that I realized I had been holding her hand!! Whoa!! What a trip!! I then realized that we had to do this again! Not that I would use the pretense of praying to hold her hand but it was sure an unforeseen benefit! Ahh…
As we ate we talked and laughed like it was so natural – and it was. It was like that was what life was supposed to be like. At least for me that was what life should be like. When we finished we left (darn!) and walked back to her car. We had left my car at the first location I had been riding with her. She even asked me to wear the seat belt and the way she said it melted my heart. She didn’t want anything to happen to me… what can you say to that??
Anyway, after dinner she drove me back to my car and I have no idea what kind of a stupid face I must have had on but she even asked me if something was wrong. At that point I realized that I would not be able to muster the vocabulary to conjugate the proper words to form complete sentences… I was feeling drunk but had not had one drink! All I managed to say was that she was “intoxicating” which in hindsight did turn out to be a complete sentence and perfectly described my condition! I didn’t even try to kiss her goodnight… I obviously had had enough to drink so I did what any drunken, hot blooded latin man would do… I kissed her hand. Slowly enough to warrant it being a gentle kiss but short enough so as not to freak her out… then I managed to get out of the car without falling and she waited until I was inside and my car had started… it made me feel VERY special, I mean everything she did that night made me feel special…
As we each drove into the night and went our separate ways, I realized that I really did feel drunk, but not in an alcohol induced kind of way… it was more of a deer in the headlights kind of way… so like… okay… now what??
That was it for Friday night – total elapsed time = 3 hours and 45 minutes…
Every story has a beginning, but the really good ones have no end, this is one of those stories. To be honest, I never saw it coming. I never thought I would be writing about this because frankly, it just never crossed my mind to write about about the most personal part of my existence, my quest for love. As humans we have all felt the need to find that someone special in our lives so I never thought of my quest as something original or different, until now.
The story you will read here is true. The names of course will not be mentioned for obvious reasons but let’s just say that one of the people involved, which is me, already knows who this is about. The other person involved may, or may not ever find out – only time will tell.
The story begins today, Thursday, October 8th, 2009. The background is that I had joined a dating site looking to find a friend to hang out with, someone reasonably intelligent who could provide some companionship in my free time. Someone with a sense of humor to laugh with etc.
The gist of my online ad went something like this:
Looking for a partner in crime, an accomplice, a confidant. Must drive fast (for the getaway) and act mean and tough. Confidence, witty sarcasm and a sense of humor is required. Will train – No experience necessary…
Let’s be friends and get to know each other…
I was not longer looking for “the one” because that one apparently did not exist. So I had decided that some reasonable facsimile would do. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what would happen to me on this day.
Let me just add that prior to today I had sent a message to a woman on the dating site and we had exchanged some mindless banter back and forth over the course of about two weeks. It was nothing different than any of the other communications I had interchanged with other women. Just a little witty humor laced with a dose of witty sarcasm with the sole purpose of hopefully catching someone’s attention long enough to carry on some communication exchange and somehow lead in to a meeting in person. “Play the game long enough” I told myself and maybe there “might be someone out there who you wouldn’t mind sharing some time with.”
Within the course of this person and I writing back and forth I had gotten a bit impatient and changed my screen name and profile to read something completely different. I was getting tired of being approached by women who were not my type and having to exchange mind numbing questions and answers so I just decided to really state my case and get it over with in hopes to reduce the people who were just wasting my time. The woman who this is all about had not written back in 3-4 days and I thought I would just set her straight and let her know what I was really about. So I changed the profile name to “Lightwalk2013″ and completely changed the ad to something like this… “I am looking for a Proverbs 31 woman. If you do not know what this means, this does not concern you” – not exactly inviting words, but hey, I was getting tired of wasting my time.
So, anyway, this woman that had not written me back sent me a message last night and I didn’t even want to read it. In my mind I thought, “well, she hasn’t written in 4 days, now I will have to wait a week before I reply!” - I did not want to be that way because she had genuinely caught my “interest” but I had to play the “the game” – I knew that.
So I did not read her email last night and this morning the day began with a text message from her. I had sent her my phone number at some point trying to move to talk on the telephone because the endless emails with a stranger were a bit boring. So there it was. The text message went something like this:
“Hey this is ***, I know about the woman from Proverbs 31… you must be a Christian!! You changed your screen name, I miss chatting with you, how r u?”
That was at 8:12 AM, I got caught up with work and did not reply until two hours later. Still a bit skeptical, my reply was short and to the point…
So what else do you know aside from P31? Call me.
I went back to work and just a few minutes later the phone rang, it was her. Well, I guess I was not ready to hear the sound of her voice or, maybe the simple, uncomplicated form of her approach, but I was taken aback by her immediately. There was such a pleasant way about her that melted through my skepticism. She invited me for coffee that same afternoon after work and what could I say except “yes!”
We did not have a lot of time that afternoon because I had a business appointment to go to but we spent about 45 minutes just talking. We met at a coffee house but didn’t even order coffee. I was immediately struck by her graceful demeanor, her wide eyed innocence held me captive and it was almost like time stood still for a while. I know, it’s crazy, but at that moment they could have stolen my car and I would not have left her presence. I wanted to bask in the warm rays of her light as long as I could… but I had to go. So we cut it short and each went our own way. In the silence of my car, I watched her car fade into traffic, not realizing what had just happened, not even thinking about what came next, just relishing that moment.